| Coaching youth sports is a challenge. Most
of our kids are really happy to
have us step up to the plate and
coach and, despite the time we
give up, most parents find the
experience equally rewarding.
However, there are some major
things that every coach needs
to do and understand before they
start the season: 1) coach with
the proper attitude; 2) coach
with the proper fundamentals;
and, 3) learn and teach the difference
between the “Dad Hat” and the
“Coach Hat”.
Coaching the Right Attitude
We all love our kids and, let’s
face it; we also love playing
sports with our kids. For me,
it’s the way that I spend most
of my free time and it is right
up there as one of my favorite
things to do. That being said,
I also need to realize that statistically,
none of the kids that I coach
will ever play professional sports,
nearly all of them will not play
sports in college, and many of
them will not even play varsity
sports in high school. So, what
does this mean for us as a coach?
We need to emphasize all the other
aspects of sports and the life
lessons that make us love playing
the game. Mostly, we need to make
the experience fun!
In 1988, Robert Fulghum wrote
the book “All I Really Need to
Know I learned in Kindergarten”.
I’ve often told people that you
can learn everything you need
to know by playing sports – especially
youth sports. Many of the same
lessons apply, but on an even
bigger scale where kids learn
success and failure, wining and
losing, sportsmanship and teamwork,
and how to respond in many pressure
situations. None of these are
easy lessons. Winning with grace
is just as hard to teach as losing
with dignity. How can you do this
and make sure that everybody has
a great season? That’s the trick.
Every team you ever coach, especially
teams with younger kids, will
be split between kids that are
talented and kids that are not.
The goal that you have as a coach
is to make sure that every one
of those kids has a great experience
and wants to play again next year.
I take the most pride in the job
I did as a coach when the worst
kid on the team loves the sport
and keeps playing year after year.
The way that I do this is to emphasize
things other than on field performance
– I try to stress effort, trying
your best and hustle.
There are several practical things
that you can do to emphasize these
“other” characteristics. In basketball,
for example, instead of emphasizing
and keeping stats for scoring,
keep stats on hustle, picks set,
good defense, rebounds, filling
a lane, or just being in the right
position. After every game, point
out something positive that every
kid did during the game. Award
a point for each time a kid does
something you emphasize and give
stars or sew on patches when points
are accumulated. You’ll see that
these kids will do anything to
get a star on their uniform, even
pay attention in practice!
Coaching the Right Fundamentals
Kids of any age can learn to do
things properly. They may not
have the motor skills developed
yet, but they can at least try
to do it right. One of my favorite
misconceptions is that “practice
makes perfect”. That’s totally
wrong; practice doesn’t make perfect,
practice makes PERMANENT. What
I try to teach is: “Perfect Practice
Makes Permanently Perfect”. That’s
a pretty big difference!
Of course, this really changes
things for a youth coach because
we need to teach the correct fundamentals
or we’ll simply be reinforcing
the bad habits kids develop. The
hardest thing to do as a coach
is to try and correct a flaw that
a kid has developed over years
of “practice”. This is even harder
when the kid is good, because
correcting the fundamental flaw
generally means that getting worse
before getting better. That means
the kid is going to be reluctant
to try this “new” way and may
not stick it out. In the long
run, the difference could be huge.
While we’ve already acknowledged
that that we’re not developing
professional athletes, there is
no reason to limit the ceiling
on how well each child may develop.
Coach’s Corner, Continued
The solution is simple: we need
to learn the right fundamentals
before we start coaching. It’s
a responsibility that we accept
when we volunteer to coach. Now,
up front, I want to make sure
to state that most of us think
we know much more about sports
than we really do. We think that
because we played and we were
pretty good that we clearly know
how to teach a kid to play baseball
or basketball. That’s simply not
true. Much of what we learned
was wrong. We may also not know
the right way to communicate what
we know to kids. Or, we may not
know anything about the sport
if we’re stepping in and coaching
soccer or another sport that wasn’t
“big” when we were young.
Fortunately, there is help. Many
leagues do a good job teaching
their coaches the fundamentals
of the game. Some leagues even
offer mandatory coaching clinics
for their coaches. These are really
good starts, but generally not
enough – especially as the kids
you coach get older and better.
Before every season that I coach,
I’ll watch several instructional
tapes to review the fundamentals
and also learn new material. I
re-watch tapes, often with my
kids that we’ve seen before and
buy a couple of new ones to add
some wrinkles. Of course, at SportsKids.com,
we do offer 1,000’s of instructional
books and videos, but the point
of this section is to simply say
to use whatever method you choose
to make sure that you teach correct
fundamentals. Every kid, even
young kids, can learn with good
coaching and remember: “Practice
makes Permanent”.
The “Dad Hat” and the “Coach Hat”
There is a huge difference between
being a “Dad” and being a “Coach”.
Each has different responsibilities
and relationships with the kids.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot
of overlap between the two roles.
I literally have two hats: one
says “Dad” and the other says
“Coach”. Over the years, my kids
and I have learned to separate
the two so I don’t wear the hats
too often, but it does make the
distinction more literal. Coaching
your own children is one of the
real challenges of youth sports
because sometimes, you child wants
or expects to have a dad when
you’re the team’s coach. If you
can separate these roles, and
both of your expectations, you
and your child will have a much
better youth sports experience.
Ken Kaiserman is the president
of SportsKids.com, a leading youth
sports website featuring games,
sports news, sports camp and league
directories, community features,
and the SportsKids.com Superstore
with over 150,000 products.
Ken coaches youth football, basketball
and baseball. He also serves on
the local little league board
of directors as well as the Park
Advisory Board.
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